Voices

Sup, internet. Look at me blogging again! I am on a roll! If I keep this up maybe I won’t be so repressed. Let’s be honest though. I am sure I’ll forget for a couple months, and then post again. However, that is not what I wanted to talk about this week. What I want to talk about is how bad humanity can suck. I always joke that we are long over due for a plague, but I am starting to mean it in a very serious way. It amazes me that there are people out there capable of amazing compassion and love, but for every one of those people there are, what feels like, thousands of the other. I am talking about the real pieces of shit that cause hate and discontent just for the hell of it. They go out of their way to hurt others. It is a sobering thought that there are more of these assholes than the good people.

Naturally, this train of thought has led me to seek solace in the only place I can find it these days. Music. Now, one of my all time favorite bands, Motionless in White, has a song on their most recent album called Voices. It’s kinda my new jam. In this song, there is a lyric that states, “I keep it all inside because I know that man is anything but kind.” When I heard this song, it hit me right in the feels because it rings with truth. I know I keep quite a bit to myself because it can be used against me. I don’t just mean bottling up my feelings, though I do that frequently as well, I am talking about my outward self that the rest of the world sees.

I have built a massive wall between myself and the rest of the world. I don’t want people to know what I am really like. I am convinced that if I do they will turn it against me. Like the fact that I love to help people. One of my love languages is service. Doing things for others makes me happier than almost anything else. Of course, once people realize this they tend to take advantage. They will take all I have to give without a second thought. There is also the more generic example of love. Humans are almost as bad at love as they are choosing a president. They either open themselves up to the wrong kind of love, and they end up a psychotic mess, or they take the love that someone has given them and use it as a source of power. They know that the person who loves them will do almost anything for them, and they use it to keep power and control. It’s a horrible, but it happens more often than we would like.   

I suppose the lesson this week would be to try not to be an asshole. I know that for some of you this is really tough because you know nothing else, but attempt to not suck so bad. The world is ugly enough as it is. Let’s not help it along by being unkind. 

Silent Majority

Howdy, internet. Thank God, it’s Friday. This week has been terrible. I honestly have no idea how I even survived it. It seemed like everything that could go wrong in a single week did. However, there is a bright light at the end of this crappy tunnel. There is this podcast I listen to. It’s called Other People’s Lives. If you don’t listen to it, you suck. It’s life changing. That is not the point. The episode they released this week was about a dispatcher who answers 911 calls. She deals with people who are having the absolute worst day of their lives. Listening to her story I realized something. I am an asshole.

There are hundreds of thousands of people out there who are having a much worse week than I am. They are living in all kinds of terrible conditions. Yet, here I am bitching about my slightly stressful week. Jeez. The thing that amazes me though is the people who decide not to let their worst day break them. Obviously, there are those who can’t face it, and either run way or give up. The flip side is those who decide that they can come through it slightly stronger than they were. It reminded me of a Nickelback song. (Yes, I know there are those that say “Nickelback sucks balls! EW! Quit being a sheep and except that they’re awesome.) The song is called Silent Majority. The chorus of this song says, “What if we all stand up? What if we don’t give in? What if the silent majority wasn’t silent anymore?” This I think relates nicely to these types of people. What if we all decided we wouldn’t let these hard times break us? What if we refused to give up? The world would be a much different place.

We could all draw strength from each other. If we could stand up and fight for our happiness and be there for one another the world wouldn’t suck so damn bad. We wouldn’t be a silent majority anymore. We’d stand together. We’d give each other strength. Then on those days that we can’t seem to find the strength to push through ourselves we’d have an entire movement worth of people to help. The thing that I would like anyone who reads this to take away is that you’re not alone, and to use your voice to stand not just for ourselves, but for each other as well. The world needs this. Speak up now, and can pick up the pieces. 

Rodger Rabbit

We meet again interweb. It’s been a rough week. It’s been the kind of week that makes me think that all life is good for is a swift kick in the balls. I remember growing up and hearing the tired cliché, “Life gets better.” I am sorry to say that I don’t think that this is entirely true for everyone. Obviously, there are those out there who had a turbulent time and came out on top. Good for those people. They are truly lucky to have been able to turn the tides and find that better life.  It’s remarkable. However, there are those out there that are not that lucky.  There are those who have a shit show for a life from start to finish. They grow up in rough homes, and they suffer many tragic losses in their lives. I would say for those people life didn’t get any better. They felt unimaginable pain with no reprieve.

This brings us to what I wanted to talk about. I was listening to music at work today, I know big shocker there, and a wonderful song by the name of Rodger Rabbit by Sleeping with Sirens played. This song has always spoke to me in plethora of ways. I feel like every time my life has changed, and I listen to this song I discover a new meaning to the words. There is a lyric in this song that says, “Nobody’s gonna feel your pain when all is done, and it’s time for you to walk away.” This really resonated with me. Despite how much we would like to believe that people care about what is going on with us that doesn’t mean that they can feel our pain. We are the only ones that experience it. Humans posses the ability to sympathize, but I don’t believe we can ever truly empathize.

It’s like Tolstoy says, “Every happy family is alike. Every unhappy family is unhappy in their own way.” Our troubles are uniquely our own, and we all react to them in different ways. There is no one that can feel our pain but us. We expect them to understand it, and they simply can’t. This leads us to lash out, or even walk away. I understand being unhappy. I understand going through hard times, but we need to stop pushing people away for not being able to empathize with us. I know this is difficult. Hell, it’s damn near impossible, but we have to try. By pushing these people, we gain nothing. We lost our support system and end up alone.

Here is the lesson I hope that you take away from this: I know that life can be a big ol’ bag of dicks, but please don’t push people out of your life because of it. This life is hard enough without having to go at it alone. The people in your life may not be able to understand what you pain is, but they can help you survive it. Life may not get “better”, but it can get more bearable. 

F.E.A.R- False Expectations Appearing Real

Hello Internet, it’s been a while. I always say I am going to do a better job of keeping up with this blog, and I always fall off the horse, but what the hell. I am going to give it another shot. I have talked about a lot of different things on this blog, but I always try to leave you guys with lesson. Obviously, I can’t tell you what to do. I don’t even know you. I can, however, leave you with something to think about. I try to use things that happen in my life to inspire these lessons. I do this because my life is the only thing I really know well enough to write about. So, here we go again.

I recently moved to Salt Lake City, and I love it! The people are so friendly, and it’s a really beautiful state. I am really pleased with my move. It was incredibly frightening though.  It was a terrifying prospect to move 650 miles by myself. I don’t have any real family that I am close with up here. I have my best friend, but that’s about it. I have always lived with someone else. Be it a roommate, or living with my grandparents. The point is this was the first time I have ever lived completely by myself. I knew that going into this, but it still scared me shitless. However, I didn’t let that stop me.

We all have things that terrify us. We are afraid to go on vacation because there is so much more work that needs to be done here. We are afraid to tell someone we have feelings for them because we might get rejected. There is a line in the Divergent series where Tobias tells Tris, “…fear doesn’t shut you down. It wakes you up.” I feel like this is something to aspire to. Why should we let fear get the better of us? We should over come it. Courage is not the absence of fear it is simply deciding that there are more important things than the fear.

The lesson I want you guys to take away from this is to leave courageously. I know that life is scary, but I also know how amazing it can be if you just live it. Go do the thing that scares you. Yeah, it may not turn out the way you hope. It could even turn out bad, but wouldn’t you rather be able to say you tried. There is nothing worse in this life than regret. Regretting not spending time with someone before they die, or regret for not telling someone you loved them when you had the chance. Don’t let fear shut you down.